My Top Ten Reads of the Year

I still have a few reviews to complete and post, but thought I'd fit in one last blog post of 2015. So here (in no particular order) are my top ten reads of the last year:

1. Shtum - Jem Lester

I still need to post my full review of this amazing book, but wow, this book really did blow me away! 'Shtum' isn't due for release until April 2016, but I was lucky enough to receive an ARC from Tracy Fenton at TBC on Facebook - and I'm so glad I did! It's possibly the best book I've ever read about life with a disabled child and it touched me on a very personal level. Outstanding debut novel and Jem Lester is an author I will look out for in the future.

2. We Are All Made of Stars - Rowan Coleman

After reading Rowan's wonderful 'The Memory Book' last year, I didn't think she would be able to top it, but oh my goodness how wrong was I! 'We Are All Made of Stars' made me laugh and made me cry. I fell in love with each and every character, and even slowed down my reading as I wanted to savour every beautifully written word. I could have read about these characters forever and so didn't want it to end! A beautiful and moving novel that was one of the highlights of 2015 for me.

3. Moving - Jenny Eclair

This was my first Jenny Eclair novel, but it definitely won't be my last! I don't know quite what I expected when I picked up 'Moving', but it certainly wasn't the emotionally charged, beautifully written novel I got. The story is narrated by several different characters and spans the lifetime of one of the most memorable characters I've come across in a long time. A book that will stay with me for a long time to come.

4. Silent Scream - Angela Marsons

This is an author I would never have found if it hadn't been for TBC on Facebook. 'Silent Scream' introduces the wonderful DI Kim Stone and is the first of a series of psychological thrillers. There have already been two more instalments that are every bit as good (if not better) than the first, and I hope to see much, much more of DI Kim Stone and her team in the future. Excellent books with plenty of twists and turns to keep you guessing and a fascinating lead character who never ceases to surprise you. Another author I hope to see much more from in 2016.

5. My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry - Fredrik Backman

I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved this book! One second I would be laughing, the next I would be sobbing; the emotions it evoked in me were unexpected and all consuming. Anything I can come up with to say would not do this book justice, and to say I loved it would be an understatement. 'My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry' by Fredrik Backman made me feel so many emotions I can't even begin to describe them. It's a book about Elsa, a seven year old girl who is different from most of those around her. It is also a book about her eccentric old granny and the magical fairy tales she shared with the granddaughter she adores. It's about family relationships and how each one is different but still as important in very unique ways. And superheroes. We should never forget the superheroes!

6. No Other Darkness - Sarah Hilary

The second in the DI Marnie Rome series, 'No Other Darkness' is every bit as good as its predecessor. Another strong and memorable female character, who I look forward to seeing more of in future books. The supporting cast are also interesting in their own right, and the story has enough twists and turns to keep you in suspense throughout the book. I like the fact the villains are also three-dimensional characters and not just cardboard cutouts. Excellent book and highly recommended.

7. The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes - Anna McPartlin

Emotional and (especially considering the subject matter) strangely uplifting book about the last days of Rabbit Hayes. A beautifully written book that makes you think about the things that really matter in life. Loved it and it's an easy choice to be included in my top ten reads of 2015.

8. A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman

My second Fredrik Backman book to be included in my top ten and his debut novel. Ove is a difficult man to like at the beginning of the book, but I soon came to love the old curmudgeon. I don't know what it is about Fredrik Backman's writing that moves me so much, all I know is that it moves me in ways many other books couldn't. I don't think I've ever  sobbed as much reading a book as I have readin this and 'My Grandmother...'. Brilliant author and one that I will look forward to reading in the future.

9. After You - Jojo Moyes

'After You' is the much awaited sequel to 'Me Before You', a book I both loved and hated with equal measure. It's difficult to say too much about 'After You' without spoiling the first book, but suffice to say I loved it! A fitting sequel to the rollercoaster of emotions that was 'Me Before You' .

10. I Let You Go - Clare Mackintosh

Another book that it's difficult to say too much about, but wow, this book really did blow me away. There are moments you just don't see coming that give you the shock factor very few books are able to do. Just wow!

And that brings me to the end of my top ten reads of 2015. There are so many more I could have added, but these are the ones that stood out the most for me. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read, comment or tweet me this year. Thanks to all the wonderful authors, without whom my life would be a much darker and duller place. 

Here's to 2016!

Book Review - The Secret by the Lake by Louise Douglas

Title: The Secret by the Lake
Author: Louise Douglas
Release date: November 19h 2015
Rating: 4.5 stars

I've read several books by Louise Douglas now and have enjoyed them all, so wasn't surprised to find 'The Secret by the Lake' to be every bit as good as her previous work. I have to admit it took a little while to get going, but once it did it had me gripped.

'The Secret by the Lake' is a ghost story full of atmosphere, intrigue and romance, with lots of twists and turns and an ending I did not see coming. It had a very old fashioned feel to it, which I loved, that felt very reminiscent of classic novels such as 'Rebecca' by Daphne Du Maurier.

The haunting secrets held within the walls of Reservoir Cottage and the lake that surrounds it are slowly uncovered, with the tension building more and more until the ghostly and tragic Caroline finally reveals the grim secrets of her past. This is where the novel takes a much darker turn as the full horror of what happened 30 years before becomes disturbingly clear.

I loved 'The Secret by the Lake' and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good old fashioned ghost story. The perfect book to curl up with on a cold winter night.

An atmospheric 4.5 star read. Highly recommended. I look forward to reading more Louise Douglas novels in the future.

'The Secret by the Lake' is available to buy now.

Book Review - Lost Girls by Angela Marsons

Title: Lost Girls
Author: Angela Marsons
Publication Date: 6th November 2015
Rating: 5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture who gave me an ARC of 'Lost Girls' in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, I didn't think Angela Marsons DI Kim Stone series could get any better, but she really has outdone herself here. A fabulous and fast paced thriller with a tight plot and twists and turns galore. Once started I could not put it down until the last page had been turned.

Although references to Kim's past are made throughout the novel, 'Lost Girls' could also be read as a standalone story if you haven't read the previous books in the series. The previous two books are so good, though, that I would urge you to read them as soon as you possibly can!

I don't give books a 5 star rating unless they have that special something that blows me away and 'Lost Girls' is most definitely one of those books for me. I look forward to reading more DI Kim Stone stories in the future.

A mind blowing 5 stars. Highly recommended.

'Lost Girls' is available for pre-order on Amazon and will be released on 6th November 2015.

Book Review: Time to Die by Caroline Mitchell

Title: Time to Die
Author: Caroline Mitchell
Release Date: 24th September 2015
Rating: 4 Stars

Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture who gave me an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

'Time to Die' is a wonderful page turning thriller that would appeal to anyone who enjoys a good story with a supernatural element running through it. This is the second in Caroline Mitchell's DC Jennifer Knight series and is every bit as good as the first.

I don't like to give too much away when I review books like this one as I think it's so much better to go into it without knowing any of the twists and turns that happen along the way. All I will say is that 'Time to Die' is a beautifully written crime novel with a surprising supernatural twist. Once started it is very difficult to put down and if you're anything like me, you will find yourself reading long into the night until the final thrilling page has been turned.

As a big fan of James Oswald's Tony McLean series, I've been looking for another author with a similar love of the supernatural, and I'm happy to say I think I've found her in the shape of Caroline Mitchell. Definitely an author I will look out for in the future.

A fabulous 4 star read. Highly recommended.

Book Review - Charlie and Pearl by Tammy Robinson

Title: Charlie and Pearl
Author: Tammy Robinson
Rating: 4 stars

Charlie and Pearl is a quick read that has a writing style with a lovely flow to it that makes it very difficult to put down. I can't say too much without giving something away, so I'll keep this review short and to the point.

It's a beautifully written love story that gently flows along for the first half of the book, but then takes a couple of unexpected turns that culminate in an ending that will take your breath away.

This is a book that will most likely divide opinion. Some people will love the ending, while others (and I am one of them) will understand it but not like it.

A beautifully written love story that will tug at your heartstrings and will definitely give you food for thought. Tammy Robinson is a new author to me, but one I will look out for in the future. Her writing style is beautiful.

A tearjerking 4 stars.

Book Review - The Murderer's Daughter by Jonathan Kellerman

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher who gave me an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was my first Jonathan Kellerman book, but it definitely won't be my last. It drew me in from the very first page when we meet Grace for the first time as a little girl. She's a fascinating character that will stay with me for a long time to come, and is one that I hope to meet again in future novels. I have a feeling that her future is going to be every bit as interesting as her past has been.

The Murderer's Daughter is told both in the past and the present day. The sections of the story dealing with Grace's past were fascinating and I found it very difficult to put the book down during these parts of the story. Although the present day aspect of the story did drag a little in places, the flashbacks to Grace's past were enthralling and more than made up for it.

It's difficult to place this book in any particular genre. It does have some aspects of a psychological thriller, especially the parts told in the present day, but it is so much more than that.

It's a book that ended up being very different to anything I've ever read before and I enjoyed it immensely. An excellent 4 star read. Recommended.

Book Review - Moving by Jenny Eclair

Title: Moving
Author: Jenny Eclair
Release Date: July 2015
Rating: 5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley who gave me an ARC of 'Moving' in exchange for an honest review.

I'm not quite sure what I expected when I started this book, but it definitely wasn't this perfect little gem of a novel. I only know of Jenny Eclair as the quick witted, hilarious comedienne and had no idea that she was an accomplished author, so this wonderful story came as a complete surprise to me. Heartbreaking, bittersweet, yet laugh out loud funny at times, this book has moments that completely take your breath away.

The story is told by three very different narrators, the first being Edwina, who I fell in love with from the moment we first meet her. After more than 50 years living in the same house, Edwina has decided that the time has come to sell up and move away. As she begins the long, arduous task of getting her house ready for sale, the memories begin to flood back and we are taken on a journey throughout the years. What follows is a moving, very real story of a life well lived. Of love, losses, happiness, heartbreak and the many unexpected twists and turns our lives can take us.

The story is then taken up by two other narrators who shed light on the events of the past, which lead us to a moving, bittersweet, yet ultimately uplifting conclusion.

 I loved this book from beginning to end and savoured every beautifully written word, especially Edwina's story, which felt very real to me. She is a character who I think will stay with me for a long time to come.

An excellent 5 stars. A highly recommended read.

Book Review - The Betrayal by Laura Elliott

Title: The Betrayal
Author: Laura Elliott
Release Date: 14th August 2015
Rating: 4 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and Bookouture who gave me an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I found 'The Betrayal' to be a bit of a slow burn to start with, but it soon ratcheted up the tension until I was desperate to find out what was going to happen next, terrified of what was to come. A psychological thriller with many twists and turns, some easy to guess, others not so easy, but all building up to a thrilling and emotionally satisfying conclusion. A definite page turner, that once started was very difficult to put down.

Nadine and Jake's troubled marriage and 'perfect divorce' was very real and believable. I quickly came to care about what happened to them and genuinely became scared for their safety, and for the safety of their 4 children. And though Karin was a character I felt no sympathy for to begin with, by the end of the novel I could understand why she felt the way she did a little bit more and, as scary as she was, could see why her psyche had become so damaged and fragmented by the shocking events of her past.

A chilling, page turner of a read and one I highly recommend. 4 stars.

Available now.

Book Review - Life or Death by Michael Robotham

Title: Life or Death
Author: Michael Robotham
Rating: 5 stars

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher who gave me an ARC of 'Life or Death' in exchange for an honest review.

Wow, what can I say? Yet another thrilling novel from Michael Robotham, an author whose books I've enjoyed for many years. In 'Life or Death' he takes a break from his Joe O'Loughlin series to bring us a standalone novel that is every bit as good as his previous work.

What would make Audie Palmer, a man who has been in prison for the last ten years, decide to break out one day before his release? What follows is a tale reminiscent of 'The Shawshank Redemption', with many twists, turns and shocks along the way that once started is very difficult to put down.

It is told through both present day narrative and flashbacks that allow the story to unfold gradually, until we have the full, horrifying story of why Audie would escape from prison so close to release, and exactly what the incentive for his actions throughout the book are.

A fast paced and gripping read that I would highly recommend. A well deserved 5 stars. Available now.

Book Review - Bones In The Nest by Helen Cadbury

Title: Bones In The Nest
Author: Helen Cadbury
Release Date: 23rd July 2015
Rating: 4 stars

Thank you to the publisher who sent me an ARC of 'Bones In The Nest' in exchange for an honest review.

This was my first Helen Cadbury novel, but it definitely won't be my last. A thrilling and fast paced crime story that has a very believable and likeable main character in Sean Denton. There are plenty of twists and turns to keep you guessing and a few surprises along the way. The story moves along quickly and once started is very hard to put down until the final page has been turned.

This is the second book in the Sean Denton series, but can be read quite easily as a standalone novel. However, reading 'Bones In The Nest' has definitely made me want to learn more, so I shall be purchasing my copy of 'To Catch A Rabbit' (the first in the series) as soon as possible.

I hope Helen Cadbury has more Sean Denton books in the pipeline, as I will definitely be first in the queue to buy them if she does! Highly recommended.

A thrilling 4 stars.

Book Review - My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman

Title: My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
Author: Fredrik Backman
Rating: 5 stars

Anything I can come up with to say in this review will not do this book justice. To say I loved it would be an understatement. 'My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry' by Fredrik Backman made me feel so many emotions I can't even begin to describe them. It's a book about Elsa, a seven year old girl who is different from most of those around her. It is also a book about her eccentric old granny and the magical fairy tales she shared with the granddaughter she adores. It's about family relationships and how each one is different but still as important in very unique ways. And superheroes. We should never forget the superheroes!

The book twists and turns and takes you places you never would have expected, with a cast of characters that are memorable and move you in so many different ways. It made me laugh out loud and it made me cry. Sometimes just gentle tears, but at others it made me cry so much it left me feeling emotionally drained. It is a story about love, loss, relationships and the fact that being different is something to embrace with every fibre of your being.

It resonated with me on a very personal level, as Elsa's relationship with her Granny made me think of the relationship I have with my own tiny grandchildren, and how being a grandparent can change and enrich your life more than you ever would have thought possible.

'My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry' is a beautifully written book that really does make you think. It tackles the subjects of love, loss and life in a heartbreakingly beautiful way, and shows how you can come to terms with the loss of a loved one without ever having to really say goodbye.

So in the immortal words of Elsa's Granny: "See you later!"

This is a book that will stay with me for a long time to come and is one that I highly recommend.

An indescribable 5 stars.

Thank you to Netgalley who gave me an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.

Cal's Blog: Book Review: Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee

Cal's Blog: Book Review: Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee: Title: Go Set A Watchman Author: Harper Lee Release Date: 14th July 2015 Rating: 4.5 Stars I'll start by saying that it's very ...

Book Review: Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee

Title: Go Set A Watchman
Author: Harper Lee
Release Date: 14th July 2015
Rating: 4.5 Stars

I'll start by saying that it's very difficult to write an objective review of 'Go Set A Watchman' when you've loved 'To Kill A Mockingbird' for as many years as I have, but I'll try. I'll also do my best to keep this as spoiler free as possible, but will assume that anyone reading this will at least be familiar with 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

I have to admit that I wasn't sold by the first chapter of this novel. If I hadn't already been familiar with the character of Jean Louise Finch I don't think the opening chapter of 'Go Set A Watchman' would have inspired me to want to know more. The first thing that hits you is the fact it's written in the third person, which already sets a very different tone to that of 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. You can tell that this is a raw and unedited draft of the book and it seems very long and meandering to begin with, and doesn't grab you like you'd hope it would.

However, when you get to Chapter 2 the story really does begin to take shape. It almost feels like coming home in a weird and wonderful way. The characters are as we know and remember them. Scout is still the Scout we're familiar with, although this more grown up version prefers to go by the name Jean Louise now. But she's still the feisty girl we remember from 'To Kill a Mockingbird' who will stand no nonsense from anyone. Atticus is there, and at this point in the story appears to be exactly the same as the Atticus we know and love, with all the qualities we would expect him to have, albeit older and more frail than the man we remember. Aunt Alexandra has now moved in with him and has a somewhat volatile relationship with Jean Louise. There's also a hint of romance in the air, as a new (to us) character called Henry "Hank" Clinton makes no secret of the fact he would like Scout to marry him.

The flashbacks to Scout's childhood and adolescent years are a pure delight, and these alone make 'Go Set A Watchman' a must read in my eyes. Some of these made me laugh out loud, while others brought a lump to my throat. It is these scenes that make it clear that what we are reading is the birth of the 'To Kill A Mockingbird' we know and love.

It is at around the half way mark that there's a surprising turn of events that take the story in a direction that those of us who loved 'To Kill a Mockingbird' would never have expected, and the sense of despair and betrayal Jean Louise feels is palpable, as we, too, feel the exact same emotions right along with her. But it is also here that it becomes clear that this is Jean Louise's story, and that she is a strong, decent woman who is trying to make sense of the world around her. Just as the character of Atticus Finch is synonymous with 'To Kill a Mockingbird', Jean Louise Finch is the standout literary character of 'Go Set a Watchman' and I'm so glad her story is finally ready to be told.

Unlike some, I don't believe that the character of Atticus Finch has been ruined by this book. I feel that the Atticus of 'Go Set A Watchman' is very much a product of his time, and that everything we loved about him in 'To Kill a Mockingbird' is still very much a part of who he is. Only here we see a more flawed, human Atticus who is far from infallible. And just like Jean Louise, we see that the idealistic way we once saw the people (or characters) we love is not necessarily how they really are. It is as devastating to us as it is to her, but it's a 'coming of age' story we all must go through at some point in our lives.

It's shocking to think that even now all these years later, there are still people who hold views like those contained within the pages of 'Go Set A Watchman'. It's unpalatable to the majority of us, but that's what makes this book an important one. It is as relevant today as it would have been at the time it was written, only now, finally, the time is right for the adult Jean Louise to be given her voice. And I'm so glad that she has, as she is someone who deserves to be heard. A strong female character in her  own right, who is finally being given the freedom to step out from behind the shadow of her father.

It isn't an easy read by any means, and all of the characters have views that are appalling to the majority of us living in the 21st century.  But I also believe that a book written more than 60 years ago with a strong female character such as Jean Louise Finch would have been seen as a very bold move indeed, especially at that particular time in American history. Which, in my opinion, is most likely the reason why it was originally turned down for publication and Harper Lee was asked to rewrite it as the novel that was eventually to become 'To Kill a Mockingbird'.

'Go Set A Watchman' is a book that has taken me on an emotional journey back through time to when I first read 'To Kill a Mockingbird' as a child. It had such a profound effect on me back then that I was scared 'Go Set A Watchman' would tarnish that memory forever. But it hasn't. If anything it has enhanced how I feel about 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. It  not only works as a companion to the well loved classic, but is also an important piece of literature in its own right.

I sincerely hope that Harper Lee did give her informed consent for this book to be published, and that if she did, I'm so glad she decided to do so now. Jean Louise Finch has wings at last.

An impressive 4.5 stars.

'Go Set A Watchman' and Atticus Finch (contains spoilers)

WARNING: Contains spoilers for the soon to be released 'Go Set A Watchman' by Harper Lee.

I start this post by saying that Atticus Finch is my favourite literary character of all time. I first read 'To Kill A Mockingbird' at school many years ago and it had a profound effect on me. I still use quotes from it to this day, so to say that I've been incredibly nervous about this 'newly discovered' novel by Harper Lee would be an understatement. And from what I've been hearing over the last couple of days, it would appear that I have every reason to feel nervous.

However, I plan to reserve judgement until after I've read the whole book, not just little snippets here and there, or reviews from people who are focussing on the one undeniable fact that somewhere along the way Atticus Finch has become a racist.

As I said at the start of this post, Atticus Finch is my all time favourite literary character. That doesn't mean, however, that I think he is this perfect, flawless character that many people believe him to be. Like we all are, I expect him to be a flawed human being who I'm not always going to agree with. Am I shocked by this turn of events? Yes, I am. But will I allow this new information about a character I've loved for so many years sway me from reading 'Go Set A Watchman'? No, I won't.

I may decide after reading the book that I wish it had never been found and published, but I'm hoping that the woman who gave us 'To Kill A Mockingbird' will have written another thought-provoking novel that, even though it may not be the story (or the Atticus Finch) we hoped it would be, will still keep us talking for many years to come.

I have faith that the Jean Louise Finch of this book will be the forward thinking young woman we all hoped she would be from 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. She will be the voice of the future, while Atticus Finch may very well be a fading voice from the past, with attitudes that so many older people from that time possessed.

In 'To Kill A Mockingbird' we see Atticus through the eyes of a young child, whereas here we will see that the idealistic view Scout (and the reader) had of her father is not the man he really is. Instead, what we have is a flawed Atticus Finch. Yes, he still possesses many of the qualities we thought he did, but he also has thoughts and feelings about race and segregation that will shock us to our very core. And this is the dilemma the grownup Jean Louise Finch will have to face in this new novel. She will feel betrayed by Atticus and so will we, but I'm interested in seeing how the story unfolds and what effect this will have on both Scout and Atticus.

This will most likely not be the book I thought it would be, but that doesn't necessarily mean it will be a bad book either. Just different. And at this moment in time...I think I'm okay with that. This time next week after I've read it? Well, that may be a completely different story. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.                

As an aside, I think it's important to remember that 'Go Set A Watchman' was actually written before 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and that Atticus Finch was apparently based on Harper Lee's father, who held extremely racist views (as did many white people of that time) for many years. The young Harper Lee fought against these attitudes, much like the Jean Louise Finch of the book. This led to them having a very volatile relationship, however, by the time 'To Kill A Mockingbird' was completed Harper's father had thankfully changed his long held beliefs and was much more like the Atticus we know and love from the book and movie. Make of that what you will.

'Go Set A Watchman' will be published on July 14th 2015.

7/7: 10 Years On

Ten years ago today my husband and I were in our hotel in London when news of the first bomb reached us.  We were due to return home that morning, but within hours the whole of central London had come to a complete standstill.  The usually full of life Covent Garden was completely empty, and the city felt like a ghost town.  My family and friends were frantic with worry, but it was impossible to communicate with the outside world for quite a few hours as the phone lines were jammed, and the very little internet access our hotel had was constantly in use by people trying to contact their loved ones.

It was terrifying.  We didn't know if or when another attack would happen, so after briefly trying (and failing - we only got as far as Covent Garden which was completely deserted) to make our way across central London (what were we thinking?!), we decided to stay where we were until it was safe to travel across the city to where our car was parked, which unknown to us at the time was very close to where one of the bombs had gone off. There were police everywhere, and there was no way of knowing if there were going to be any more bomb blasts. But luckily, we managed to check back into our hotel (on Piccadilly Circus), so at least we had a place to stay. 

The part of Central London where we were staying came to a virtual standstill. There was no public transport, many of the shops and restaurants were closed and the entire West End shut down. But the way in which everyone coped with the situation was a true inspiration. Everyone pulled together and that indomitable spirit of the people of London was there for the world to see.

We finally managed to get out of Central London at midnight, eventually arriving home at around 3am. We could have stayed until morning, but all we wanted to do at that point was to go home.

I decided then that I would not let what had happened prevent me from visiting London again in the future, and true to my word I have been back as often as my personal circumstances would allow. 

I love London. It's such a vibrant city and so full of life. I refused then (and I refuse now) to let these people stop me from spending time in a city that I love. I refuse to let them win. When things like this happen I think of what our parents, grandparents and great grandparents went through during the war and the way in which they did not allow their spirits to be broken. And neither will we.

I will never forget how I felt on that day for as long as I live.

But we were the lucky ones.

Today we remember everyone who lost their lives on that devastating day in London. And our thoughts are also with those whose lives were changed forever by the horrifying events that took place on 7/7/05.

I leave you with the words of George Psaradakis, the driver of the No. 30 bus in Tavistock Square, which remain just as poignant today, especially in light of the recent devastating events in Tunisia:

"You will not defeat us. You will not break us."

Poem: I Am Me by Cal Turner

I wrote this poem when my daughter was a little girl. She's 23 now and is a full time wheelchair user, but at the time she walked with the aid of callipers (leg braces) and a walker. It used to frustrate me so much when people used to stop and stare at her. I couldn't understand why they couldn't see the beautiful, determined little girl I could see. I was (and still am) so proud of my daughter.

I Am Me

Why do you stop to look and stare

When you see me standing there

Why can't you see that I am too

Just another child like you

My legs are weak, my will is strong

All I want is to belong

Callipers help me stand up tall

Without them I know I should fall

I laugh, I talk, I walk, I cry

My steps are slow but I get by

Life is as full as it can be

I am glad that I am me

So when you stop to look and stare

Don't pity me, just treat me fair

For I am just a child like you

A little girl who loves life too

By Cal Turner

(copyright Cal Turner 2015)

Caring For A Loved One - Carers Week 2015

I don't often talk about my caring role, especially in public where my daughter is likely to see it, as I respect her privacy too much to do that. But as it's Carers Week (and with her permission), I'm going to make an exception to that rule just this once. You see, as the full time carer of a loved one, I don't see what I do as a job or a chore. I love my daughter, and I do it because I'm her mum and that's what mums do. The fact she's now 23 and still has to rely on me for so many things doesn't even come into it. She's my little girl. And I'll be here to take care of her for as long as I'm able to (but that is an issue for another day).

But. Yes, unfortunately (as much as I hate it) there has to be a but.

That love is what the UK government relies on. It knows that we're never going to give up on our loved ones, no matter how poorly we are treated. Being a carer is hard. My daughter has complex disabilities that most people don't understand, not even those closest to us really understand most of the issues she has to cope with.

I think most people believe that as I don't go out to work every day, I just sit on my backside doing nothing. They don't see the lifting and handling, the physical help needed to get in and out of bed, to get dressed, to wash and shower, to take care of toileting needs, or the help with personal care issues that can be required at any time of the day or night. Just because we don't complain about it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

And it isn't just physical support. It's emotional support, financial support, the day to day routine of every day life, trying to ensure she leads as full and as active a life as possible. And it's bloody hard! Especially when outside help is practically none existent. Luckily I have a great husband (that works full time), who will always help out whenever he can, but the majority of her care is down to me and me alone.

My daughter needs support in so many aspects of her life that other people take for granted. It can be a lonely life, both for me as her carer and for her as a young person who has a disability.  And that care needs to be available 24/7, 365 days of the year. When we go away for a few days, my caring role doesn't stop. My daughter's disability doesn't go away. It's just relocated to a different place.

And just because I'm a carer, please don't think that I'm a saint. I have good and bad days the same as anyone else. I don't always have a beaming smile on my face and neither does my daughter. We're only human and sometimes the situation we're in can become too much for both of us. We argue and bicker just the same as any other mother and daughter, only with the added pressure having a
disability and being a carer can bring.

The love and respect we have for each other is what helps us through the hard times. We smile and laugh (sometimes at things that would bring other people down to their knees), and yes, sometimes we cry. Life is hard, but it isn't all bad. We're mostly happy.

But do you know what would make us happier? If people could understand that living life as a person with a disability isn't easy. It isn't a lifestyle choice, and neither is being a carer. We're not 'scroungers',  as people with disabilities are so often labelled these days. We're just people who are making the best of the hand they've been dealt. All we want is to be treated fairly and with a little bit of respect.

Please don't treat us as though we don't exist, or that our lives are not as important as anyone else's. Allow us to be visible in our communities, to be valued members of society. Please let our voices be heard.

Thank you for reading.

Book Review: The Broken by Tamar Cohen

Title: The Broken
Author: Tamar Cohen
Release Date: 23rd April 2015
Rating: 4 Stars

Thanks to Netgalley who gave me an ARC of 'The Broken' in exchange for an honest review.

This book really does take you on an emotional rollercoaster of a ride. I found the majority of the characters to be unlikeable, although as the story continued and their past histories began to unfold, I could understand why they really are 'the broken' of the title.

I don't like to comment too much on unexpected twists and turns in books, but unlike other reviews I've seen, certain things didn't come as a complete surprise to me, which is why I've rated this book 4 stars instead of 5. I don't think it's a reflection on the writing, as I thought The Broken' was beautifully written. I think it has more to do with the fact that I've read a lot of books with a surprising twist in the tale, so I'm always looking out for the unexpected.

That said, I thought 'The Broken' was a wonderful book and one that I would recommend. It was my first Tamar Cohen book, but will most definitely not be my last.

A good solid 4 stars.

Book Review: No Other Darkness by Sarah Hilary

Title: No Other Darkness (DI Marnie Rome Book 2)
Author: Sarah Hilary
Release Date: 23rd April 2015
Rating: 5 Stars

I didn't think Sarah Hilary would be able to top 'Someone Else's Skin', but with 'No Other Darkness' she has managed to do it with ease. 'No Other Darkness' is book 2 of the DI Marnie Rome series, and is filled with twists and turns that will keep you guessing, and just as you think you have it all worked out, something else happens that makes you realise you couldn't have been further from the truth.

An excellent read, with a wonderful cast of characters, and a storyline that makes you want to keep turning the page until you reach its heartbreaking conclusion.  DI Marnie Rome continues to be an intriguing character who is still haunted by the murder of her parents, and I look forward to reading more of her story as the series (hopefully) continues. Past events are referenced throughout 'No Other Darkness', so I would recommend reading book 1 in the series first.

Highly recommended. A well deserved 5 stars.

Book Review: Evil Games by Angela Marsons

Title: Evil Games (DI Kim Stone Book 2)
Author: Angela Marsons
Release Date: 29th May 2015
Rating: 5 Stars

Thank you to Netgalley who gave me an ARC of Angela Marsons Evil Games in exchange for an honest review.

If anything, this second instalment of Angela Marsons DI Kim Stone series is even better than the first. In it, we are introduced to Dr. Alexandra Thorne, a psychiatrist who we quickly learn isn't everything she appears to be. The mind of a sociopath is a dangerous place to go, and DI Kim Stone soon comes to realise that Dr. Alexandra Thorne is not only a danger to her patients, manipulating them into carrying out crimes they would not otherwise have committed, but will also try to get into her head to bring forth memories she has fought to keep hidden since she was a small child.

What follows is a tense, edge of your seat thriller, that once started you do not want to put down. A thrilling 5 star read, and one that I highly recommend.

Book Review: We Are All Made of Stars by Rowan Coleman

Title: We Are All Made of Stars
Author: Rowan Coleman
Release Date: 21st May 2015
Rating: 5 Stars

Thank you to Netgalley who gave me an ARC of Rowan Coleman's 'We Are All Made of Stars' in exchange for an honest review.

I can always tell when a book has got to me emotionally, and that's when instead of racing through it to find out what happens in the end (like I do with crime novels), I find myself incredibly reluctant to finish it. And this is exactly how I felt as I was reading Rowan Coleman's 'We Are All Made of Stars'. I found myself reading each chapter slowly, savouring every beautifully written word, so it would take me as long as it possibly could to reach the end of the story.

It was a book that swept me away on a tide of pure emotion. It was funny, sad, happy, bittersweet and yes, at times heartbreaking, but ultimately it was a story full of hope that left me with a lovely warm glow when I reluctantly completed the last page.

It's a book full of very real characters, who are going through very real human emotions as they come face to face with their own mortality, and I fell in love with each and every character.  From Stella to Hope, to Hugh to Issy, and yes, even to Jake the cat. I really didn't want to say goodbye to these characters, and could quite happily have continued to read about them for some time to come.

A beautifully written novel that deserves every one of the 5 stars I'm giving it. If I could give it more, I would! Highly recommended.

Book Review - Follow the Leader by Mel Sherratt

Title: Follow the Leader
Author: Mel Sherratt
Series: DS Allie Shenton
Rating: 4.5 Stars

My first Mel Sherratt book, but it definitely won't be my last! As a huge fan of crime thrillers I'd heard a lot of good things about the DS Allie Shenton series, and 'Follow the Leader' didn't disappoint. Enthralling from beginning to end, with a good, strong female lead and a story that drew me in right from the very first page.

Unlike most crime thrillers, the identity of the murderer is known by the reader very early on, but this doesn't take anything away from the thrilling race against time that DS Allie Shenton and her team now face. Where and when will the murderer strike next? And what is the motive behind the gruesome killings?

This is a book that will make you think. It will make you question past events in your own life, and could even prove to be uncomfortable reading for some. I know it made me feel empathy for the murderer - something that very rarely happens - even while condemning him for the course of action he decided to take.

This is the second DS Allie Shenton novel in the series, the first, 'Taunting the Dead', is also available now.

An excellent 4.5 star read. Highly recommended.

Book Review - Silverwood by Betsy Streeter

Title: Silverwood

Author: Betsy Streeter

Release Date: 11th March 2015

Rating: 5 Stars

Thank you to Light Messages Publishing for allowing me to read an ARC of 'Silverwood'.

Highly entertaining YA novel with a very original storyline. I loved this first instalment in what will eventually become a series of books about the Silverwood family. Well drawn and interesting characters, together with a plot that includes time travel and alternate realities, make this a fascinating read that is very difficult to put down.

I liked how the narrative was told from several different points of view, which really opened up the story and allowed a better insight into what was happening. By the end of the novel, I felt that we had only just begun to scratch the surface of the Silverwood family, and that there is still so much more to learn about this intriguing family with their magical blood and cognitive abilities. Book 2 can't get here soon enough!

Highly recommended.

A thrilling 5 star read.

Book Review: Shallow Waters by Rebecca Bradley

Title: Shallow Waters
Author: Rebecca Bradley
Series: DI Hannah Robins Book 1
Rating: 3.5 Stars

A grim and dark crime debut from Rebecca Bradley. I found it to be a well written but disturbing novel, in fact it was possibly a little bit too disturbing for my taste. It did take me a while to get into, but once the story got underway I began to enjoy it a great deal.

DI Hannah Robbins is an intriguing character, and one who I look forward to seeing more of as the series continues. I do feel that the book could have done with a bit more humour to help break up the grimness, but overall I found it to be a good read and will definitely read the next book in the series once it's available.

A good, strong debut. 3.5 stars.

Book Review - The Doll's House by M J Arlidge

Title: The Doll's House
Author: M J Arlidge
Series: DI Helen Grace Book 3
Release Date: 12th February 2015
Rating: 4 Stars

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of "The Doll's House" by its publisher Penguin UK.

After a slightly lacklustre second outing, M J Arlidge's DI Helen Grace series is back on track with the excellent 'The Doll's House". It draws you in from the very first chapter and is a book that's very difficult to put down.

A young woman is abducted just as the body of another young woman is found buried on a beach. It soon becomes apparent to DI Helen Grace that a serial killer is at large. Despite opposition from her superiors, Helen knows that if she is to find Ruby alive she must leave no stone unturned. A race against time follows that leaves you breathless and gasping on the edge of your seat. Will Ruby be found in time, or will she become yet another victim of the killer who keeps his victims locked away inside his "doll's house".

The best instalment of the series to date, "The Doll's House" is a taut, tense thriller and one I highly recommend. An excellent 4 stars.

Book Review - Holy Cow by David Duchovny

Title: Holy Cow
Author: David Duchovny
Release Date: Feb 3rd 2015
Rating: 3.5 Stars

How do I even begin to review this book? It's very different to anything I've ever read before, and I don't think I've come across another book quite as crazy as this one...and yet, surprisingly, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would!

"Holy Cow" is a book written by David Duchovny (yes, THAT David Duchovny) and is about Elsie the cow, who one day finds out the truth about what really happened to her mother when she disappeared, and decides that the same thing will NOT be happening to her.

What follows is a laugh out loud funny adventure that is also moving in parts. "Holy Cow" is a book that really does make you think about things that most of us very rarely even consider when it comes to the treatment of animals by humans. It isn't a book that will appeal to everyone, and to be perfectly honest, I doubt I would ever have even looked at it if it hadn't been written by David Duchovny of "The X Files" fame, but I'm so glad I did.

A unique book, written in a style very different to anything I've ever read before. Recommended to anyone who is willing to try something a bit different. And you never know, you might actually enjoy it just as much as I did! I do know one thing for sure, though: I will never look at a cow in quite the same way ever again.

A crazy 3.5 stars.

Book Review - Dead Time: A DC Max Wolfe Short Story by Tony Parsons

Title: Dead Time - A DC Max Wolfe Short Story (novella length)
Author: Tony Parsons
Release Date: 19th Feb 2015
Platform: Kindle Ebook
Rating: 4.5 stars

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of Tony Parsons short story 'Dead Time' by its publisher Cornerstone Digital.

Following on from the success of his first novel featuring the character of DC Max Wolfe, ('The Murder Bag'), Tony Parsons gives us this bite size treat to whet our appetites for the second novel in the series 'The Slaughter Man' that is due to be released in May of this year.

As a long time fan of Mr Parsons work I did wonder if he could make the transition from his usual style of novel over to the crime/thriller genre, but I needn't have worried as he did so with ease in 'The Murder Bag' and does so again with this new short story, which makes me very excited to read 'The Slaughter Man' when it eventually arrives.

DC Max Wolfe and his daughter Scout already feel so familiar to us and it takes no time at all for the reader to be drawn back into their lives. The events from 'The Murder Bag' have not been forgotten and you get a sense of just how much they've effected Max Wolfe throughout this short but excellent slice of fiction.

There is also an excerpt from the new novel included which really does whet your appetite for the story to come. If Tony Parsons writing continues to be this good throughout the series (and with his past track record, I can see no reason why it would not) I can see DC Max Wolfe being right up there with other favourite characters of mine such as Jo Nesbo's Harry Hole and Kate Atkinson's Jackson Brodie. High praise indeed.

Highly recommended. And if you haven't read it yet, the first novel in the series 'The Murder Bag' is available now.

Book Review - The Here and Now by Ann Brashares

Title: The Here and Now
Author: Ann Brashares
Release Date: January 1st 2015
Rating: 4 Stars

Ann Brashares new book 'The Here and Now' is aimed at young adults, but will also appeal to adult readers of all ages who enjoy a good time travel novel. It is set in modern times, with time travellers coming back in time from the future rather than going back in time from now, which really does make a refreshing change.

Highly entertaining novel with well written and interesting characters that you very quickly come to know and care about. The romance is believable and doesn't shy away from intimacy issues as many YA novels seem to do, and the twists and turns of the story drew me in and kept me invested right through to the heartbreaking end.

This is the first Ann Brashares novel I've read, but it definitely won't be the last. Recommended.

Enjoyable young adult novel. A good 4 star rating.

Book Review: Prayer for the Dead by James Oswald

Title: Prayer for the Dead
Series: Inspector McLean Book 5
Author: James Oswald
Release Date: 12th Feb 2015
Rating: 4 Stars

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of 'Prayer for the Dead' by James Oswald courtesy of its publisher Penguin UK.

Another excellent instalment in James Oswald's Inspector McLean series. I have read and enjoyed all of the books in the series so far and 'Prayer for the Dead' is no exception and is, in fact, one of the strongest in the series to date.

Many of the familiar characters from the previous books are there, including the wonderful Grumpy Bob and Stuart MacBride. The events of the previous novels have not been forgotten, but are masterfully woven into the story and are part of what makes the character of Anthony McLean such an interesting and multi faceted one.

The supernatural undercurrent that can be found in all the books as always adds to the appeal, and I hope that there will be many more Inspector McLean books to come in the future.

As previous events are often referred to throughout the book, I would recommend reading the other four books in the series before starting this one. And believe me, once you start reading them, you won't be able to stop.

'Prayer for the Dead' is an excellent addition to the series and one I would highly recommend to anyone who enjoys a good detective novel, but who also enjoy reading books with a supernatural element running through them.

A good solid 4 stars.

Book Review - Grandma's Poetry Book by Di Castle

Title: Grandma's Poetry Book
Author: Di Castle
Rating: 4 Stars

A delightful collection of poetry all about the highs and lows of becoming a grandmother. There's something here for every stage of your grandchildren's lives, from the very early baby stage, right through to the teenage years.

This wonderful little book made me laugh and it made me cry. As a fairly new grandmother myself I could relate to so many of the poems in this book, especially the ones that told of the initial reluctance to become a grandmother, which quickly changed into doting adoration once the new addition arrived. Oh how I could relate to that! There is nothing quite like being a grandmother and this lovely collection describes the many different emotions to perfection.

Accompanying each poem are sketches by Denise Horn. Together, the words and pictures capture the special bond between grandparents and their grandchildren, and really do help bring the poetry to life.

A quick and easy read, but one that I know I will return to time and time again. Recommended to all grandmothers or grandmothers to be. Just delightful!

Book Review - The Story of Before by Susan Stairs

Title: The Story of Before
Author: Susan Stairs
Rating: 3.5 stars

This is a difficult book for me to review as I loved it up until a certain point - but once we reached the pivotal moment that the whole story was leading up to, it made such a huge, painful impact that I could no longer continue to read for some time as I was crying so much.

Yes, we were warned 'something bad' was going to happen and that it would involve a death, but nothing could have prepared me for what actually did happen. And I can't really go into what did happen without spoiling it for those of you who haven't read it yet, other than to say it was hugely triggery for me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.

The 3.5 stars I've rated this novel is for the writing and character building alone. It's a beautifully written book, but in all honesty it made me feel sick to my stomach and incredibly distressed, which isn't necessarily something I want from my reading material.

'The Story of Before' touched me on a very personal level and my rating reflects that. When I read a book I'm transported inside the story, so much so that I feel as though I'm actually there. And this book, as well written as it was, took me somewhere I didn't want to go. Somewhere painful and dark, somewhere I've been trying my hardest to move forward from. The story itself has no similarity whatsoever to my own personal situation, but the 'bad thing' that happened triggered a response in me that I wasn't expecting.

But if I put aside my own personal feelings when it comes to 'The Story of Before'? My rating would have been a good, solid 4.5 stars. A beautifully written, but deeply disturbing novel.